Monday, August 2, 2010

My first post

Why this blog? I honestly don't know. A few of my friends have blogs, and I like to write so I thought I would give it a try. We'll see how long it lasts :). I'll apologize upfront because I am somewhat "technology impaired" so even though I have great ideas about this blog it may seem a little lacking in the beginning.

Everything in my life is totally upside down right now.  I recently lost my job in April. I worked at the worlds largest telecommunications company for over eight years before I was let go along with many of my close friends and people I have worked with for years. I still have mixed feelings about it. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad to be away from that job you can't even imagine! It's just I had no idea what being unemployed was actually like. Like I said, I had a full time job for over eight years. I figured that having all this time off would be like an ongoing vacation. I imagined getting caught up with things I had put off for years. My house would always be spotless. I would undoubtedly drop weight like crazy now that I had all the time in the world to exercise. Sadly, that isn't what happened. It's weird to have a purpose for eight years and wake up one morning and be faced with the decision "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?" It was so much harder than I could even imagine. For the first couple of days we kind of just detoxed, relaxed and got everything in order. After that, things just go weird. I became so depressed and just lost. I got further and further away from my running that I so desperately loved last summer, and work started piling up around the house. I had no energy and began to get depressed. I realized that my job hadn't been what was taking away all the things I wished I could do and accomplish. It was just an excuse. With my excuse gone, I had to face real issues in my life and I couldn't. Now I am starting to want to face things and work them out rather than avoid them. I am still not really working. I have my real estate license but the market is horrible and, to be completely honest, it is really hard! Another sad part of losing my job is I did not lose the weight. In fact, I gained back most of what I lost last summer. I kept it off until the beginning of this Summer and then most of it came back. I feel absolutely horrible about it. Even though I am trying to run again, I do have nearly the drive or determination I had before. I really hate dieting and talking about weight, but it is so frustrating to be caught up in the vicious weight loss cycle again. UGH! I signed up and paid for the Akron 1/2 marathon and it is 7 weeks away so I hope that motivates me to get my run on! So we shall see how that goes. I plan on blogging about some of my runs in the future.
Even though there are some very serious things I need to figure out I am glad to have the extra time to cuddle with my two favorite dogs, Sam and Daisy. They are my babies and I love them so much! I am grateful to have them in my life.  I never had dogs growing up, and always figured myself more of a cat person, but once I got my dogs it was love at first sight! I guess that is enough for now. I'm sure my upcoming posts will be more exciting! I hope someone actually read this far!

1 comment:

  1. Lauren,
    Great blog--very good comments on losing your job! But it's very true--I went through the same thoughts--what I am I going to do? What is my purpose? God, what do you want me to do now? Which I still don't have the answers to, so I sat down a wrote my goals for house, financial, physical, spiritual, family and even fun stuff. Now I find I have more focus to my life and wake up each morning with a list of what I need to accomplish that day (even if it is laundry)! So you are on the right track. And if you run every day those endorphins kick in and you will feel so much better. Keep up the good work!